There are days when you feel excited about things, and days when you dont. I've started doing some free lance work for the company my brother works for. They've bought out another company and were in need of the whole shabang. I got the logo done, through some struggles, and compensations (I put in a line to avoid having a graditent), and last night I was working on a business card. They had sent me a file of their current design, and I cringed as I looked at it. They asked me to see what I could do with it. So last night I worked till the wee hours of the morning, till I couldnt go more than a minute without yawning, and I put in my best efforts to give them a card. Honestly, I haven't worked that hard since I was working on the logo design for Portfolio in Piazza (the one the teacher loved, but the client shot down). It felt good to be designing, and I was quite pleased with what I came up with. I felt that I had forsure talked them out of the hideous design, and into something better. I followed the standard rule of giving them three designs, one that pushed it, one that was in the middle, and one safety - or rather what they were expecting to get, and in this case that meant re-do of their card. I was pretty sure that they would pick the one in the middle. The one that pushed it the furthest was my favorite, but i felt it would be too much for a group of programmers.

So last night I sent the file off to my brother to forward on. He wrote me saying that the thought I was going the right direction, and that he was impressed. And so my sleepy eyes doozed off content. I awake this morning and checked my email. One from my brother, with the subject "this is what tom wants" - I felt uneasy. I waited to last to open the email, unfortunately it was a slow day and there weren't a lot of others. So eventually I had to open it. Sure enough, I saw a sight I couldnt believe. Pasted in the email was the copy of their current card. They decided they wanted that design, and just changed to add "arlignton TX address on back" at the bottem of the card, and then they'll print the arlignton address on the back of the card.

Well, you can guess how I completely sunk when I read this email. this job has gone from having the prospect of being a great addition to my portfolio, to now being completely eliminated. When I had to add the line to the logo, I thought "okay, I can still put it in my portfolio as long as everything else is strong. the line isnt that bad" - but now... bad logo, bad card design. This project would keep me FROM getting a job if it was in my portfolio, rather than help me to get one.

The thing that urks me the most is that from the start I said that I was a designer. I wasn't there to just put their designs into a program that worked. The pay may be good, but it's not good enough for that. If that is what my job is to be, I'd rather spend my time working on my own projects and improving my portfolio. I was ensured though that they wouldnt be coming to me unless they were serious about having it designed.

So now I'm at the point where I really just want to say to hell with it, I'm not your little monkey who is going to transfer your crappy designs into illustrator for you. But in reality, I need the money. And I made a commitment to do the project. So I'll stick it out, even if it means dreading working on the prjects. I'll do those which I've already agreed to do, and if it keeps up this way then I'll decline any further projects.

I am a graphic designer, not a desktop publisher. and I refuse to become one.