a wonderful thought just occoured to me: I dont have class until 11 tomorrow. That means i get to sleep in until 9.30.... ahhhh

the last few days have been thouroughly tiring. it's strange, as i used to pull these types of hours all the time, and for weeks at a time rather than only days, often with less sleep. i've gotten out of the habit though, as school is here is much less demanding than back home, and im not working either as i always did before. today was yet again frustrating with my group. we were all supposed to work last night and come with a bunch of ideas to talk about today, and get going on our project. well, we met. between the three guys in my group, they had 4 ideas (3 of which coming from one person....) - i had 4 pages of ideas. Needless to say i walked away from that meeting muttering things under my breath. i'm not sure if they stuck around longer and talked or not. but i wasnt about to waste my time with it, if they're not willing to do the work, then why should i bother. i have no problem doing the whole project myself, but alas we were assigned groups to work with. and while i normally like working in groups, i refuse to let someone (or even worse 3 someones) tag along for a free ride. they want to be part of the group, they need to pull their own weight.

on another note, i've been in a weird mood lately. i think it is because time is winding down here, and i'm starting to plan my trip back home. the only thing is, 'home' is a place ive never been. a state i've never been to. im about 95% sure i'll be heading to virgina to live with my brother. the other 5% is just in case i some how get *offered* a job here - im too lazy to put in the effort to try and find one, as messing with trying to convert my PdiS really doesnt appeal to me. so, the plans have started. ive been looking at plane tickets, and am getting ready to buy. my brother is talking about a great burger place we can go to after they pick me up from the airport, and i already know what my first purchase back in the states will be - one grande iced carmel macchiato coming up.

while i've never been there, it is my brothers house. and as he has moved from one place to another over the years, they've always felt comfortable to me. i never feel like a stranger there. and, this time my dear kitty will be there waiting for me (hopefully, he is 16 so he could go at anytime now... but i have faith he will wait for me). Still, i get an odd feeling thinking about going home, and not having it be Corvallis. Corvallis has for the past 16 years been my home. But I no longer have a house there or family there, and i only have a hand full of friends still lurking around the university. I'm sure at some point I'll find myself back on the streets of Corvallis, but i have no idea if it'll be in the next year, or in another 10 or 20.

I'm excited to be heading somewhere new, to somewhere that daily life seems to run so much smoother, but at the same time i know i will miss italy, and suspect that i'll also miss milano with which i am forming a love hate relationship. I have no doubt that I'll be back to Italy, possibly even this fall/winter. but once again it will only be a vacation, and it will be spent running around from one place to another trying to see friends. vacation is never the same as living somewhere.

It was funny the last time I went back home after 8 months abroad, to experience the culture shock being back in my own city. When I moved to Italy and England I was expecting things to be different, and was prepared for it. But I wasnt in the least bit prepared to face it when i went home. Some of the things I remember most from 3 years ago were:
- having stores be open 24 hours
- how my friends thought I was weird for going to the store almost everyday and buying food for only a day or two at a time (something that had become normal to me here)
- my friends thinking i was weird for cooking food everyday rather than just eating out of a box.
- going to a football game and having the obnoxious drunk fraternity boys yelling the whole time
- the shear amount of drinking done by my friends, and how the night wasnt over until you were puking or passing out
- realizing that it was only about a 20-25 min walk to school, which when i came back seemed like nothing to me having been without a car for 8 months, yet before i left i always drove to school.
- how completely stressed out americans get over school work (and yes, I know I do this too, but less than my friends back home, really!)
- how closed minded a lot of my friends really were
- not having a piazza and a gelateria to meet at in the evening

so, as i think it'll be interesting to look back at in a few months time, and see how things have changed, I've decided to write a list of what I think I'll miss most about Italy and what I'll be happiest to have back in america.

Things I'll miss about Italy:
- Fresh, cheap produce
- multiple cafes during the day
- aperativos
- 5 min breaks always turning into 10 or 15
- good shopping
- hearing italian
- walking to the store
- sms-ing (so expensive in the states!)
- hearing someone's conversation then spending 5 min debating in my mind whether they were speaking english or italian, cause its getting to the point where i dont automatically distinguish between the two anymore.
- going to the bar above the school, getting a cafe in the morning... panino at lunch... another cafe... candy.. another cafe... bottle of water.... and then after it all, and several hours and trips down to the school and back later, finally paying for everything all at once.

Things I'll be happiest to have back in America
- Starbucks! ;)
- 24 hour stores
- access to a car
- wireless internet
- my kitty
- leaving the house in sweats and not getting weird looks
- english
- central heating and airconditioning
- mindless entertaining television watching
- cat napping on the couch